Even
USA Today touted, "It's rude not to RSVP; Casual attitude
is driving hosts crazy" (June 17, 2002).
I
recently attended a party hosted by an old friend. She sent
out over 60 invitations, and had about 20 people say they
were going to attend (typical - count on 1/3 of your invitation
list to show up). But what about the other 40+ people? Why
didn't she hear from them? The RSVP was clearly stated on
the invitation.
People
just don't RSVP anymore! This has become my latest rant, and
as Maria Puente from USA Today points out, it is driving hosts
crazy. Why is this? Years ago, only the very wealthy or those
in high-class society were asked to RSVP. Those who were of
a common-class would always show up when they were invited.
So, RSVPs weren't necessary.
What
has changed?
Is
it the overabundance of the RSVP? It seems that everything
asks for a reply these days…everything from a casual weekend
get-together with friends, home parties where people are trying
to sell you something, to weddings and black tie fund raisers.
Or
is that we simply forget? We get so much mail, and so much
on our calendars, we simply don't make it a priority? Or are
we waiting to decide if we are going to attend, to wait and
see if something else better comes up?
This
is a hot topic, and one that sparked quite a debate in my
latest e-newsletter. The opinions depend on which side of
the fence you sit … are you the invitee or the host?
Guests
seem annoyed when they are invited to an event, rather than
to feel special that they were considered. Some I talked to
even said things like, "what is acceptable has changed - you
don't have to RSVP anymore. It's acceptable not to and just
show up if you don't have anything else going on."
Really?
What
is wrong with our society, culture and thought process? Are
basic social graces extinct? Some guests I talked to even
thought it was OK to show up with uninvited guests.
The
term RSVP is French, and it means répondez s'il vous plait.
Translated, that means "Please reply." Or, put another way,
"Pick up the phone and let me know if you are coming." It
is polite, and is specifically what the invitation is asking
for. Reply with a 'yes' or a 'no'.
